I have this little habit that I do. At least once day everyday. With all the routines set into our daily life, it’s only a matter of time before things become monotonous. When I start to feel claustrophobic in it, there’s this other little world that I’ve created in my head, so I pack a mental suitcase and I move myself over there and begin to live there until I decide to come back or I’m snapped out of it (I’m usually snapped out of it.)
Some people call it daydreaming; others call it ‘living in a bubble’. Growing up, my dad would always tell me that I’m living in some kind of fantasy world and because of it I don’t notice what’s going on around me in the present moment. That I was letting my “real life” pass me by. Most of the time, he was right. But it was because I had no interest in my current life. While life is comprised of many different factors that lead to happiness and success, I didn’t like any one of them. I had low self esteem because of my weight issues, I was in a dead end relationship with someone I didn’t love because I couldn’t be with the person that I really wanted (let’s put a pin on this topic and get back to it at a later time), I had a job that I hated, It was one of those “full time 8 hours a day nothing more nothing less work to get paid” kinda jobs, my friends were a bunch of fakes. I was always the one giving something, but what was I getting in return? When I needed someone, there was no one there for me. And everyday it was be a huge internal battle just to convince myself that today is worth living, that things WILL get better and for that I need to get out of bed. By the end of the day everyday I would be asking myself the same question over and over again. “Why?”
Why am I in this position? Why am I stuck here? Who’s forcing me to be here? Why can’t I do something about it?
I was right. Why didn’t I do something about it? I’ll tell you why…… One word. Four letters. Big, scary meaning.
The answer: FEAR
I was terrified of change. Truth is that I had gotten so accustom to my slum, miserable lifestyle that when I attempted to change anything, I would subconsciously sabotage myself to fail. And it wasn’t because I didn’t believe in myself, it’s because I did. I actually had the power to change my life. I had a degree. I could go out and look for a job that I enjoyed doing, I could break up with my boyfriend, I could be honest about the way I feel with my friends, I could diet and exercise… I COULD change things… if I REALLY wanted to. And that terrified me.
I am 24 years old and I had given up on my hopes and my dreams. I forced myself to “get serious” about life and here I was, being that miserable disappointing adult that not too long ago I promised myself I would never become.
Shortly after this epiphany, I spent everyday questioning myself, studying my situation, analyzing myself and trying to find a way to rid myself of the fear. To live the life I love and love the life I lived. (I love Bob Marley, may he R.I.P)
And eventually… It just happened. It’s amazing what the power of thought can accomplish once you put it to good use. Nothing around me had changed. Everything was still the same. Except for me. I changed the way I thought and therefore the way I looked at things and people had changed as well. So everything was completely different to me. I started to make changes to my life that impacted positively on every area.
I tried dieting, but realized it made me hungry which made me angry so I started to add more fruits and veggies to my diet instead (you should start with baby steps), I didn’t have to break up with my boyfriend because he cheated on me. Yes, it hurt a little. But it was for the best. I asked my boss to take on more responsibility at work and I was rewarded for it. Everything just started to change. Everything happens for a reason J The world became a beautiful place again.
I went to sleep with a dream and I woke up with a PURPOSE. There’s nothing more fulfilling than that.
All those things that we want to do when we’re young and that we forget about when we grow up, like travel the world, or watch a Black & White movie, volunteer at a nursing home, break a world record. I started writing down some of the things I’ve always wanted to do. And then you know what I did? I started to DO THEM.
And as I did them, I ticked them off my list and I felt a burst of joy within me. “FINALLY!” I would mentally shout. However, the list doesn’t get any smaller because I also keep adding things to it. I also started to add to the list a few things I’d like to do more often.
Here are 10 things I’ve already successfully been able to tick off my list:
– Start blogging
– Live in another country
– Do a random act of kindness for a stranger
– Tell the person that you really love how you feel
– Watch a scary movie… alone.
– Go to a party and NOT drink alcohol
– Sing karaoke
– Read more (by this I mean read more old fashioned paperback books.)
– Go to Vegas
– Watch a marathon of The Matrix
I couldn’t believe it myself either. But it’s true. All I had to do was believe in myself and dare to dream.
To let go of my fear and push forward toward the direction of my aspirations. Literally, that’s all it takes. Everything else is secondary nature. Everything else will follow suit. You just have to make the first move.
What are some of your dreams and hopes?
Write down at least 5 of them. And dare yourself to achieve them. Because you can. Like I said before, you are so powerful. You are your own remote control; anything is possible when it comes to you.
“As a child, we’re always told that the world is at our fingertips. As an adult, I think the only thing that has changed is the confidence we have to reach for it.” – Dolly
Just go for it. Saving your dreams means saving your soul so I DARE you to DREAM!