Unconditionally…

Oh no, did I get too close?
Oh, did I almost see
What’s really on the inside?
All your insecurities
All the dirty laundry
Never made me blink one time

Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

 

This AWESOME song by Katy Perry takes a deep look into what it means to really and truly love someone without conditions.

How many of us can say we have a true love, a pure love, an unconditional love? Do you have someone in your life that you love like this?

It could be your mother, your daughter, your spouse, your best friend, your neighbor…yourself.

Can you say that you love this person with no expectations, without prejudice?

Unconditional means “without conditions”. The general example used to describe the word is: Unconditional Surrender.

I found this odd. It seems that we tend to associate the ‘unconditional’ with pain and suffering. During War Times, an opponent would use unconditional surrender as a way to put psychological pressure on a weaker adversary.

So what is unconditional love all about… and does it even exist?

Modern day society has a different outlook on love than our ancestors. Love these days is a choice and romantic love, in most cases, is seen as a hindrance. To love, by expression, is to create a set of conditions in which to love.

We choose our life partners based on convenience. If we have the same political views, want to settle down in the same neighborhood, want the same amount of kids, agree to let each other pursue our careers, etc.

So, with that in mind, does unconditional love have a space to grow and blossom? I find a lot of modern day relationships to be a kind of contractual agreement between two parties. It’s all about comfort and convenience. Is that really love?

Putting relationships aside, let’s think about unconditional love on a greater scale. What if you could apply unconditional love to every aspect in your life?

To your job, to your boss, to the traffic on your way to work, to the waitress having a bad day and taking it out on you, to the homeless man on the corner asking for a dollar, to your children, to yourself…

Do you see the difference?

It all boils down to the same thing over and over again.

Fear.

We are afraid to be exposed. To be seen. For everything we are as well as everything we’re not. We are scared. We are so scared and it’s killing us my friend…

I’d like you to do an exercise with me. We cannot project unconditional love until we have found that same love in ourselves. How many of you can say you love yourselves unconditionally?

Well… let’s get there. I have 3 steps that helped me and maybe they could help you too:

  1. Look at yourself in the mirror and say your affirmations out loud. Whatever your truth is, say it out loud to yourself. Internalize it, own up to it.
  2. Forgive yourself. Stop criticizing yourself. Stop scrutinizing your mistakes. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or haven’t done in the past. Each day we are born anew.
  3. Give more love. The more you give of yourself, the more you will get back. It’s just the Law of the Universe.

And lastly…

Stare your fear in the face and walk right past it…

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Eleanor

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3 thoughts on “Unconditionally…

  1. Very true people are feared to be exposed, we all have little secrets. But I think or in my case if your comfortable with yourself and look in the mirror and know who is staring back at you then it there is not all that much to fear, what anyone thinks about you.

  2. You are indeed right Charly. Honesty is the enemy of fear. If people were to be more honest with themselves and more open with their truth, there would be nothing to fear. As Roosevelt said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

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