I’ll Never be enough…

Have you EVER said this to yourself?

I’ll never be…

good enough

smart enough

pretty enough

thin enough

just… not enough.

I wish I could say I don’t have these thoughts about myself anymore, but every now and then they pop up to remind me of the limiting beliefs I used to hold as true.

Now I know just a little better…

Now I know that no matter what or when, I am ALWAYS enough.

It’s not even something I need to be, it is something I am inherently.

It’s my fears, my self-doubts, my poor self-esteem that keep me from seeing me for all that I am and for appreciating myself just as I am.

 

Doesn’t it hurt?

When you’re unkind to yourself?

Don’t you start to feel even worse?

Negative attracts negative. It’s a downward spiral from there. I know this feeling. I’ve seen myself fall down the ladder so many times. Gosh.

But you want to know the beautiful part? The really satisfying part? The empowering moment? It’s that split second. That instant where you make a decision to say NO to the self-loathing and YES to the self-loving. It’s getting up from your knees to make a stand again. It’s facing… everything. Including yourself. It’s the star of courage you earn, and the scar of gold etched onto your heart that makes it bearable.

YOU, my dear, are special. You probably already know that, maybe you’re sick of hearing it but I am telling you what I think about YOU and i know for a fact that…

YOU ARE SO SPECIAL!

You are one of a kind. No one on this planet can replace you. You have a unique gift for the world that only you can share. You are an explosive miracle!

Don’t believe me? Listen here to Jim Carrey…

So my dear, beautiful, kindred brother or sister, you beautiful soul… I urge you today to make the right choice.

No matter the problem or situation… Choose LOVE!

Share yourself with the Universe. Be that ocean in a drop.

self lveo

 

Choose YOU. Because you are so worth it!

lovemyself

 

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02/02 UPDATE: Don’t you just love SERENDIPITY? One day after my post, a brilliant article was posted on Elephant Journal. The subject matter was:

5 Truths to Remember when you Feel like you are Not Enough

Also, this amazing photo showed up on my feed:

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The Universe is conspiring lovely one. Feel it. Breathe it. Use it. Share it.

 

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What do You Want?

energy

When we want to achieve something, when we have something that needs to be done, what we’re doing is focusing our energy to accomplish said task.

So my question is:

What do you REALLY want out of this Life?

What are you focusing your energy on?

Does it make your heart sing?

Does it make your soul fly?

Does it make you want to cry out of sheer joy?

Are you living or surviving?

What can you do about it?

If there were no limitations, no “ifs” or “buts” or “maybes…”

No fear.

If failure wasn’t an option… what would you seek out of life?

You want to know what I want?

Are you ready to hear this?

Are you ready to give me what I need?

Because I want You.

I want to see you succeed.

I want to hear your dreams.

I want to help make them come true.

I want to love and be loved.

Without conditions, without boundaries,

Without words, without fears.

I want to abolish currency.

I want to pay for my muffin with love.

I want our hearts to be treated as celebrities,

Rolling out the red carpet whenever you catch a glimpse of it.

I want to have the liberty to not do things just for the money.

I want to live free of fear. In all its forms and masks.

Self-doubt, procrastination, caution, get lost.

I want the mountains closer to me.

I want rivers.

I want trees.

I want kisses that end wars.

I want to share my point of view with whomever is willing to listen.

I want to give you my eyes, so you can finally see how beautiful you really are to me.

I want a family. I want babies.

I want my soulmate to give me another chance.

Just one more.

I want to live forever.

I want to be remembered for who I am.

I want to be an example of vulnerability.

I want to get it all out on paper.

I can’t die with things still inside of me.

I want clarity.

I want yoga.

I want 4 a.m. meditations back.

I want to find my purpose.

I want closeness,

With every human being.

I want to play my part

In this vast Universe.

I want to make the most

Of this body

My soul has chosen to inhabit.

And of this soul,

That my body has awoken to.

I want simplicity.

Optimism.

Lightness.

Beauty.

I want a revolution.

I want to break the mold.

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Have you met Vidal?

I am going to be real with you. I sometimes go into a deep existential crisis when I think about the future of humanity. When I think about the world that I must grow old in, the world in which the children I will one day give birth to have to grow up in. What kind of world will that be?

My optimism allows me to hope for the best. When I see the youth of today, I think of myself and remember that most things are just a phase and we need to go through certain life experiences in order to grow and expand our consciousness. However, this new generation has an obsession with technology. Striving to create virtual connections yet failing somewhere along the line to nourish and value true connections, emotions, people.

A lot of what is needed currently in the world are more of us being present in the moment. Absolutely present. Mind, body and soul connected to the action.

 However, I know for a fact that not all adolescents are the same. No human being is like any other. We are each unique in our experiences, our thoughts and our beliefs.

I put a lot of faith in the youth. I believe we are underestimating their power. I believe a ten year old has infinite potential within him yet he doesn’t have the space to express it.

That’s why I’m always moved when I read stories about very young children making a difference, whether at home, in school, for their community or their country.

It shows a powerful soul knowing its purpose and overcoming any adversity.

You might have met this young man already but if you haven’t, I want to make sure you do.

Meet 13-year-old Vidal Chastanet from Brownsville, Brooklyn. He had a chance encounter with Brandon Stanton, creator of the popular website Humans of New York.

Brandon took Vidal’s photo, and asked the teen who the most influential person in his life was; Vidal replied it was his Principal, Nadia Lopez, at Mott Hall Bridges Academy. The interaction went viral in this touching photograph.

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Curious Brandon just had to meet this amazing principal.

It turns out that Ms. Lopez was in the middle of raising money to send her students on a trip to Harvard, a college she wanted them to have in the forefront of their minds. Soon thereafter, Brandon found himself joining the cause, helping to raise over $700,000 for the trip in just four days.

“Nadia’s unbelievable,” Brandon tells Ellen’s Good News.

“She’s like a movie character, she just cares so much and she’s tough. It’s what you need in this area. She’s tough and she’s unbelievably committed and ambitious, but ambitious on part of the kids. She could have been CEO of a Fortune 500 company, but decided to be principal in one of toughest neighborhoods in Brooklyn.”

Because they’ve raised so much money – their original goal was only $100,000 – the entire school will be visiting Harvard, and subsequently, the sixth-grade class will be able to go for the next ten years. Additionally, they will be able to establish a summer program to run for the next 10 years, as well as a scholarship fund named in Vidal’s honor.

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“When people tell you they’re from Brownsville they get cringes. There’s a sense of hopelessness. I want these kids to know that there are no limits or boundaries to where they can go… I also want those institutions to see the impact they can have on those children’s lives.” says Nadia. She is making a huge impact on her students. She started the school in 2010 as a way to change the narrative of the neighborhood, and to empower students to believe they are more than their surroundings. Vidal says he began school with a “short temper” and often got in trouble, but Nadia changed his attitude.

“If you’re from Brownsville, they don’t expect you to be much in life,” he says. “They don’t expect you to have a quality education, they don’t expect you to know what you’re doing. They expect you to fail. They don’t want you to become anything that you want to be… I realized that if I want to be anything in life, as Ms. Lopez said, I have to learn how to be better. It doesn’t matter about the past and present, you must focus on the future. Your future is what you set it to be in your mind.”

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The most recent post shows Ms. Lopez at an assembly on Monday where Ms. Lopez explained the fundraiser to the entire student body. Most of the students had already heard bits and pieces about what’s been going on, but Ms. Lopez projected the blog onto a screen and walked through the entire story. She began with Vidal’s original post and ended with the final tally raised thus far. ($707,000 at the time. over a million now!)

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“I have something to admit to all of you. Before all of this happened, I was about to give up. I was broken. I felt like typing my resignation. I told my mother: ‘Mom, I don’t think I can do it anymore. Because I don’t think my scholars care. And I don’t think they believe in themselves enough to care. I’m afraid they don’t think they’re good enough.’ And she told me to pray on it. But I told her, ‘I might be too angry to pray.’ And I know this is hard to believe, because you guys have never seen me break. But I was broken. It’s just like when you see your mom break down. You only see your mom cry when she’s been fighting so hard for you and she doesn’t think you care. That’s how I felt. But then a couple nights later I was with my daughter at a Broadway show, and we were waiting for the show to start, and I started to get all these text messages from my teachers and former students. And then I saw Vidal’s face pop up on my screen. And my first thought was that something bad had happened. Because that’s normally the case around here when someone’s photo shows up unexpectedly. And the moment I realized that Vidal had said something nice about me, the usher came over and made me turn off my phone. When intermission came, my daughter said: ‘Mom, we’ve got to find out what’s happening.’ So we went and sat in the car. And I read what Vidal said, and I began to read the comments. And tears started coming down my face. Because even though I always tell you that you matter, up until that moment, I didn’t feel like I mattered.”

This is love. Care. Inspiration. Kindness. Solidarity. Hope.

This is Humanity.

That’s why it touches us all.

PS – There are still 7 days left to donate! If you’re interested in reading more about the cause or adding your little grain of salt, click here.

PS 2 – Aren’t you glad you met Vidal? 🙂

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Clarity

‘Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don’t know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?

I love to self-dedicate songs. So when I heard this song, I thought it was the perfect melody. It had just the right amount of good music & meaningful lyrics. It spoke of a message that made everything crystal clear to me. I dedicated this song to a piece of me I wish I didn’t need… My Ego.

We could sit here and talk all day about Ego. We both know it loves the attention. What is the Ego to you? Ego has been described to mean many things.

“Ego” is a Latin and Greek (ἑγώ) word meaning “I”, often used in English to mean the “self”, “identity” or other related concepts, Ego has also often been quoted by writers and philosophers as the “false self”. Freud considers the Ego to be a kind of Super-Human. So, you see, the Ego can be many things. More importantly, the Ego is what you make it to be. The Ego has no power on its own, only what you give it, what you feed it. It lives and dies because of you.

During one of my meditations a few years ago I feel like I went on a long journey with my Ego (my Ego likes to be spoken of with a capital E).

It took me to deep places of my subconscious and showed me memories of my past that I had blocked out. It was showing me the source of why I had become the person that I was…an angry, rebellious, pessimistic teenager. It was showing me those memories so I could take away the power of them. So I could forgive the ones I loved, myself and move on. It became my guide that day.

Some people will tell you that to achieve a higher level of consciousness or to become more spiritually attuned that you have to “kill the ego”. I don’t believe in that concept. I think a person is far more wiser when he learns to accept and coexist with his Ego. Because, at the end of the day it is a part of oneself. Our Ego is necessary. It can protect us, comfort us, educate us and enlighten us if we were to believe in its good nature. Remember that your thoughts alter the Universe. If you have negative thoughts about something, you are planting a seed of negativity in that thing. If you think your Ego is “evil” and out to get you. Guess what? That’s what it’ll do.

My Ego has taken over me a lot during my lifetime and not in a good way. When I am vulnerable or unhappy my Ego steps in for me. In order to protect me from getting hurt any further, it becomes a shield. It says and does all the things that I personally am not brave enough to do. My Ego has the ability to say “No”. My Ego was my pride. After I let go of my pride, after I stopped feeding it and seeking it, the Ego remained. It had a different purpose now, it was there to remind me of other people’s pride. It was there to warn me about people who like to take advantage of humble people. People with ulterior motives, with fake promises, with hidden personalities. I still had to learn the lesson the hard way because I had an unwavering heart that wanted to believe in the best of people. I believed that if you give someone a chance to do right, they will. I must admit it’s idealism, and even though that’s true, I will never stop trying and believe (while my Ego growls in the background).

The truth is, my Ego is my friend. I have been through so much with it. We have fought, I have tried to cut it out of my life, I have tried to lock it up, to silence it, to bargain with it, to fight with it again, to really get physical with it, to hurt it, to heal it only to hurt it again and back to fighting it and finally accepting it. My Ego may not fully accept me. I still haven’t lived up to its expectations as yet, but I accept it. Because I accept Me. I am not perfect. I am just me. And I love every itty, bitty, little piece of me. Including my big, fat Ego. (there I go hurting it again.)

Talk to your Ego. Get some clarity. Open your eyes. Discover a new side of you. Would it be too bold to suggest even loving your Ego? By loving it i mean treating it with love. The same way you treat yourself, all your body parts, your quirks, your “flaws” and all the things that make you who you are. Don’t let your ego BLIND you, let it GUIDE you.

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I’m Happy to be Thankful!

I'm Happy to be Thankful!

Sometimes we forget to appreciate the little things in life… I’m happy when I walk into my local grocery store and my favorite mini cinnamon raisin bagels aren’t out of stock! I’m happy when my gas gauge isn’t on E when I step into the car, when I get a phone call from a friend just to find out how i’m doing. Then they’re bigger things we take for granted like our health, our wealth and the love that surrounds us. We take it for granted very often believing that it will never leave us. “You don’t know what you got til it’s gone” didn’t become a cliche for no reason. Focus on appreciating the little things in your life. Start trying to point out one thing a day, and before you know it becomes routine to be thankful for your own life! As Einstein put it:

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

I prefer to live by the latter rule. How about you? =)

Carpe Diem…what does it really mean?

My first post is pertaining to my favorite Latin phrase “Carpe Diem” which means seize the day. Funny enough Carpe literally translates into “to pick, pluck, pluck off, cull, crop, gather, to eat food, to serve, to want”, however, Ovid who was a famous Roman poet used the word in the sense of “to enjoy, seize, use, make use of” thus providing the world with a timeless cliché.

Another interesting fact about Carpe Diem is that it stems from a longer quote… Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero which translates into “Seize the Day, putting as little trust as possible in the future”

For years, I’ve loved this quote. As a kid, I would use it to convince my parents to let me stay in the playground a little longer, have sleepovers with my friends on the weekends, take me to Disneyland…twice! As a teenager, it developed into a motto of sorts, that each day should be lived as though it was your last day on earth. Nowadays we refer to it as YOLO (You Only Live Once). So I used to do just that. I would get dropped to school in the morning, pretend to be walking in the doors and as soon as I saw my mom’s Mazda out of sight I would run for the hills where my equally awesome delinquent set of friends would be waiting for me. We would roam the streets of the city like it was no one’s business. Then, when the sun went down and the city came alive we would find a way to sneak into to all the cool clubs and be at all the cool gigs going on. I honestly don’t remember sleeping for 2 years. It was awesome. Then I moved away from the city to a beautiful island in the Caribbean, I settled in and got a job. In other words, I got older. And with age comes something that we seem to take for granted unless someone points it out to us…Wisdom. I can finally say I’ve only recently truly discovered what my favorite phrase that I would like to get tattooed on my arm actually means. I used to think it meant to live as if there was no tomorrow. I used to think that it meant freedom. To free oneself from the expectations of others, the responsibilities of your life. To live for yourself. And to live it now. But i was wrong. We live in a world where we have rules and systems put in place. Morning traffic, taxes, full-time jobs to pay for our loans, mortgages, insurance, expenses, etc etc etc. Carpe Diem doesn’t mean to abandon all that, it doesn’t mean to belittle all of that. It’s not just some bohemian concept for actors and artists or some catch phrase for blockbuster movies. It means that no matter who you are or what you do, that you matter. In the grand scheme of things, YOU are Important! YOU make a difference! So whatever you’re doing with your time, make sure you value it! Whether it’s sitting at your desk, or picking  your kids up from school or just trying to figure out how to pay rent this month, your life is unique. And today is all yours to do whatever you want to do with it. Kinda empowering once you realize how significant you are isn’t it?

Here’s an awesome song by Kris Allen titled “Live Like We’re Dying” just in case you haven’t caught on with the theme yet =P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6jnynVLfLA

So I hope I have you basking in your new-found power when it comes to taking control of your life.

“Life is like a TV, and you’re the remote control” I just came up with that, but it sounds like something someone’s already said. lol

Have a LOVEly day!!!

-ME