Are you Empathetic?

Dr. Brené Brown is a researcher-storyteller and kind of a rock star for me. I previously posted her TED Talk on Vulnerability where she laid out some deep truths in such an elegant and simplistic manner with a dash of humor in a way that only she could do.

In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown breaks down vulnerability to reveal what she calls “wholeheartedness”: The capacity to engage in our lives with authenticity, cultivate courage and compassion, and embrace — not in that self-help-book, motivational-seminar way, but really, deeply, profoundly embrace — the imperfections of who we really are. It is sheer brilliance.

In this sweet & short video, the Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce (RSA) teamed up with animator Katy Davis to bring to life an excerpt from Brown’s longer talk on the power of vulnerability and the difference between empathy and sympathy, based on her most recent book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. (also brilliant)

“The truth is, rarely can a response make something better — what makes something better is connection.”

How many of you can agree to this statement?

How many of us are actually connecting when we communicate?

In her book, Brown writes:

Vulnerability isn’t good or bad. It’s not what we call a dark emotion, nor is it always a light, positive experience.
Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living.

[…]

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.

How vulnerable are you willing to be?

Give your heartstrings a tug…

‘Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
‘Cause I give you all, all of me
And you give me all, all of you

I rarely bring this kind of topic up because I don’t consider myself knowledgeable enough to share any kind of insight when it comes to love. What is love? What is to be in love? What is it to be loved in return? What is true love?

They’re all kinds of love, but at the core of every relationship, every action, every interaction, everything… there is love.

Love is what makes the world go round. I don’t care how corny I sound, I know this to be the ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

And when you love… when you let yourself love to the fullest extent, when you allow yourself to receive love… you radiate, you vibrate, you come alive.

I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful than to love someone wholeheartedly for the sole purpose of just loving them.

How many of you can think of someone you love unconditionally?

You know they’re flawed, you know all their quirks and shortcomings, you’ve been around for all their mistakes and yet you’re still there. You accept them for who they are because you know their heart… you know their soul.

When two people come together… transmitting the same frequency, vibrating the same energy… sharing one mind, one body and one soul. I think a communion like that is incomparable.

How do you achieve that?

In my own experience, I’ve learned that we only have a shot if we fulfill the following requirements:

  • Don’t let the past get in the way of your present.
  • Keep your Ego at bay.
  • Give yourself permission to act a fool.
  • Be vulnerable. So vulnerable it hurts.
  • Don’t question it. Don’t second guess yourself.
  • Don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way of your true feelings.
  • Find that “magical middle ground” where all the compromises happen.
  • Say “I’m Sorry” when you know you have to.
  • Say “I Love You” even if you don’t have to.
  • Listen to your inner voice, and don’t cramp her in. You want to share her/him.
  • LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

With the right person, these things come easy. With the “right but not right now” person, communication is key. Either way, there is a love out there. A love so fierce it will bend time and space. If you’ve got it, you know that each day is a new day you have to wake up and start all over again. If you don’t got it, it’s coming. It always does. Here’s to love!

You are worthy. You are so worth it!

Stop Being Perfect. Practice Gratitude. Love Wholeheartedly. You’ll Be So Glad You Did.

Brené Brown is a researcher-storyteller, and she’s about to blow the lid off all your insecurities.

I’d like to share my favorite part with you:

“Courage is from the Latin word Cor, which means heart. And the original definition of courage was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had very simply the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first. And then to others. They had connection as a result of authenticity. They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful”

Are you vulnerable?

Strength in Vulnerability… And Love!

Just thought I’d share this with you.
What Portia says is something so profound. Take a minute for this quote to resonate with you:

“I used to think that the way to be strong was to be tough. I used to think that to be independent was to not need anyone. But she’s taught me that the more vulnerable you are and the softer you are and the more you allow people into your life and into your heart, the happier you are and the more valuable you are to other people.”

 

I couldn’t have put it better myself. We spend so much time putting up walls and keeping our distance from people so we don’t get hurt, but by doing that we deny ourselves the ability to achieve true strength and happiness. And I know it’s not easy, believe me I know. But it’s worth it =)

I also have a confession to make.. I’m a BIG fan of Ellen & Portia. They’re both just amazing, beautiful people. I was maybe like 8 or 9 years old when Ellen was doing stand-up but when I got older I used to watch her comedy show, I found her ridiculously hilarious, I remember her on Oprah when she publicly came out, starting her own show, meeting Portia and everything since. I think she’s an amazing woman…truly. And Portia as well. I just became aware of her book Unbearable Lightness & I will definitely be reading it soon! I admire their courage and beliefs. Ellen helps people everyday to achieve their dreams and spreads laughter. And isn’t that what life is all about?